Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
