Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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