WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
