would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
