you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
