I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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