I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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