another moral hangover. fuck.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
