WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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