you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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