i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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