I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
