youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
