btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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