Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
