you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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