I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
