thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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