did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Can I color on your dick again?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
my poor anus
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
