I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
