gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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