I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
