Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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