Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
