just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize