Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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