so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
