Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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