Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
