how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
