bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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