we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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