next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
this boner is exhausting
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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