Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
