I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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