I just threw up on my dentist
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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