Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
