party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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