Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
