Kiss
Puke
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
