my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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