No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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