You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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