One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
