Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
