i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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