we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize