So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
