that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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