she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
