I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Blood and glitter go together right?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
