I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
