took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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