i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
