just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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