I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
