My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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