I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
