totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
