I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
