I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
