4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
