i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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