it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
