Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize