I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
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