But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
