he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
