I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
