I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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